Friday, February 27, 2009

Tonight Only!

I'm sorry to lay this on you at the last minute like this, but you've got to go down to the St. Petersburg Shuffleboard Club from seven to eleven. The Indians will be there -- Gandhi, not Tonto -- serving up food and drink, trinkets and music. Entrance is free, although the goods are not. I don't know about parking.

Mike and I are going even though I have an early morning at Ybor City tomorrow. It's the annual Flan Fest -- chocolate flan, guava flan, mango flan. I don't want to jinx myself ... but after having sold twelve dollars worth of one-of-a-kind crafts in five weeks, what, really, would be considered a jinx? ... but I fear that all the money-totin' citizens will be on the other side of Centennial Park, while I'm over here looking longingly at the Flan Fest.

Well, I'll have John's book with me, and that'll help pass the time, even as it gives me pain. He gave it to me for reasons of his own. It's science-fiction, which I can live with. I'm afraid the author, Piers Anthony, is yet another of those who keeps my attention just long enough to piss me off. (If I'm lucky, Piers Anthony has gone to the Great Library in the Sky and won't be getting any notices from Mister Google that someone -- bien50, maybe -- has taken his name in vain.) It's just that it's so sexist. I mean, our hero, Stile, has sex with a robot and a unicorn, but really loves a human but look: he respects her so much -- but not the others -- that he won't have sex with her. What is that? "I respect you so much, I won't engage in the ultimate form of love-sharing with you."


So Stile is talking with his robot in this scene.

"I do love you somewhat," Stile said. "I know that now."
"But I'm a machine!"
"And I'm a concatenation of protoplasm." He spanked her pert bare bottom. "Now move, creature!"

Do you feel my sister?

Of course, I might actually be lying to you. It's one giant book with three novels in it and I'm almost finished with the second, so how bad can it be, right?

I have other things to say but I want to shoot this out to you so you won't be late for the Friday Night Shuffle tonight.

Let's take a moment to pause and welcome Don Dewsnap, my newest Follower. Well, actually, instead of pausing, I think I'll just freeze like Bambi in the lights of a Hummer because Don's a Master Proofreader. Instead of different colored belts, they give neckties, but still, it's going to be scary having him in the audience. It'll be better for you, though.


Anonymous said...

Piers Anthony is very much alive and, I believe, living in Florida. Take a look at his website,, for all kinds of info. As a science fiction and fantasy fan for many years, I've read a lot of Anthony's books -- until I got tired of the puns and other childish stuff. Guess I grew up; don't know if he has -- or ever should. I think most of his fans are in the "younger set" (which, for me now, is almost everyone). Everyone should read at least ONE of his novels, just for fun.

I didn't know you were so eager to have a "Master Proofreader" among your Followers. You've already got one (me), so that makes two. I just haven't allowed my professional urges to trump your muse. :) Eunice

Barbara said...

And I SO appreciate your keeping your sharp blue pencil out of my eye, Eunice! I certainly prefer things to be letter-perfect but, as you know, I've been guilty of typos here. Don gave a talk on proofreading to the Bay Area Professional Writers Guild (although I would have put the plural possessive apostrophe in there). I was a guest listening to a kindred spirit and much enjoyed it. I may be spiritual kin to both of you, but my skill is far inferior to both. Still, I appreciate the ideal examples.

Now let's see if I used the boldface option properly.

Don Dewsnap said...

Aw, pshaw. I'm not going to be reading your blogs with a view to correcting them, Barbara, but to enjoying them. As Eunice and you surely know, a proofreader goes through stages of growth, where first he is pained by errors in what he reads, but then comes out the other end, and merely recognizes them and when possible, learns from them.

If I should see some error in your work that indicates some underlying misunderstanding, I will contact you about it via email, not in a comment. I would consider that only fair exchange for the pleasure your writing gives me.