Monday, December 15, 2008

The Food Blog

Shonda ( -- one of those Hoosiers who thinks forty degrees is just fine -- asked me if I cook. Well now ... let's take a look inside my refrigerator and see what you think ...

Everything on the bottom shelf, which you can barely see, is past its Sell By date. In fact, some cottage cheese or something expired on my birthday, which, as I know you know, is September 27. Let's just stick to the top two shelves. The milk expired, but no one really wanted it anyhow. Jill and Marty use raw milk for their coffee, but when they were here painting their car, they were forced to go across the street to Walgreens and buy that little bottle of Velda brand milk. While it expired on November 22 -- not even a month ago! -- I'm sure it's still drinkable. I myself use Silk brand plain soy creamer, as you know if you pay attention here in Blogtown. I use enough of it that it's never out of date, plus the expiration is always months and months into the future, which is scary if you think about it, so please don't. I assume that flour doesn't expire, especially if it's kept in the refrigerator. I still have half a notion to do some holiday baking.

On the second shelf, the eggs expired on the tenth, so that's not too bad. I use them till they're gone. The feta's good till next year sometime, unless the Sell By and EAT By dates are radically different. The stuff with the pink lid is cat food, and I'm sure it's still good.

Okay. That's the inventory. No one will be surprised when I answer Shonda by saying no. No. I don't cook.

Actually, I make THE best macaronic salad in the known universe, and my chili's some of the best, too. But that's only two things, and there are over three hundred days in a year, they say. I really should work on two more dishes, one for autumn and one for spring. I think I'd feel better about myself if I could at least claim to cook on a quarterly basis.

I used to bake a lot. It picked up drastically when we put Mom in The Home down here. Even with a ton of overtime, I'd bake a couple times a week, always in double batches, sometimes even triple. I'd bring it all to work. Jody would ask me to marry her every time I brought in baked goods. After a while, though, I apparently quit baking because someone asked why I didn't bake any more. I had no answer, but Jeanne Milot did. "You quit baking when your mother died," she said. Wow.

That's what's so cool about friends. They're witnesses.

But baking isn't cooking, so no. I don't cook.

In the same batch of email came a plea from a fellow car artist, Deanna Morey. She painted Thing Three, shown here. She's one of a dozen finalists in KFC's nationwide Holiday Traditions contest. Go to this site and vote for her. She is listed as Deanna M. from Oviedo, FL. What the heck. It would be cool if she won and you could say you know somebody who knows the winner, right? PLUS, I actually saw the exit for the KFC Museum this summer. There's a full circle in there somewhere.

And you see how KFC ties in with food, right? Okay. Good.

What if my next blog is about housework?!


Beth said...

Wait just a minute. Yes she did cook this year. This is Beth also from IN. only by marriage, not by choice. When sister was here she cooked her famous Chili. Also when I was still a Floridian she used to bake for me on special occasions. I always think about those days if she mentions baking. But her best quality is just being my friend.

Pi-Dave-ke said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pi-Dave-ke said...

Well, I'm lookin' at that 'fridge and hearin' 'bout them use-by, sell-by, eat-by dates and I'm gettin' scared! I had to leave and finish the blog later :>)...

I don't believe for one minute that Barb cannot cook. Cookin' HAS to be in her blood, doesn't it? I wonder if she, in truly cat-like fashion, simply chooses to not cook? I'm just sayin'....

I have been wrong before, so I am prepared for that possibility, but I would really like to put my theory to the test before succumbing to the "uncommon wisdom".

Hey, I can understand the obvious benefits of "not being able to cook", mainly, someone else does it or suggests eating elsewhere...and that saves a whole lot of dirty dishes, now, doesn't it?